five ways my cat is like every douchebag i met in college

(1) Never wants to hang out during daylight hours.

(2) Always picks his guy friends first - in this case, it's Tim.

(3) Totally ignores my calls, unless it's almost time to hit the sack, in which case he becomes very cuddly.

(4) Has no job or any intention of getting a job.

(5) Spends most days napping and most nights wandering around looking for trouble.

SERIOUSLY: A serious psychological study was recently published on this very subject. (But without the cat angle.)

WHAT HE'S THINKING: "Hey baby, I'll see you at bedtime. Okay? Well alright."

HELPFUL ADVICE: If you're still into the bar scene, which I am NOT, this post on how to spot a douchebag might help a little.

ONE MORE THING: watch Morty the Douchebag Cat, YouTube Sensation, after the jump...