all the mundane crap I think is cool and nobody really cares about

If you're here reading my blog then I guess you're used to it. Behold! A wonderfully (and thankfully) boring-ass NORMAL weekend:

(1) FRIDAY - brave grocery story at lunch to stock up on $70 worth of cookie-making supplies, worry about myself due to cookie supply expense, consider immediate intervention therapy, go back to work instead, get Kristie to give me one of her necklaces on credit, can't pay until next year but she knows I'm good for it, then home by 5:30pm, supper prepared, children do their chores with minimal whining and threats to take away Gameboys and/or nail polishing privileges. Katie retires midway through 10 o' clock news.

(enthralled? but wait! there's more!)

(2) SATURDAY - wake up to "blizzard" that doesn't really seem that bad, figure it's just my natural aversion to weather authorities, seatbelt self to couch with coffee and book, holler at kids if they come near as they might cause me to spill coffee.

Later many neighborhood children come to my house and mess it up, well in truth it was just two, but when added to my three that shit adds up, they rip my house apart and then they clean it up again.

SERIOUSLY: Ab has 8-year-old dance party time while helping me make candy-coated pretzels, of which I bought the biggest pretzels I could find so they wouldn't take so long (I'm lazy) and she kept playing "Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer so many times I thought I would go insane. Even Colton begged her to stop. Then she switched to "Macarena." I really gotta get that kid onto some alternative stuff.

NOTE TO AB: Mommy likes The Shins.

I kick kids outside for 30 minutes, Eric digs a structurally sound tunnel in a snow drift, Abbey tries but hers collapses on her (no future in highway engineering I suppose), I shovel not because Tim won't but because I'd rather go out in minus-100 wind chills and 300mph winds then listen to my kids fighting over a game of "Life."

Also, I forget Ab's birthday party invite is Sunday (as per my usual memory) - and I go to book club with my friend Kay, even though I have no idea what book they've been reading as I haven't shown up in months.

Once there one of my friends says, "So Katie what have you been up to?" I draw a total blank, some time sheets flash before my eyes, I mumble something about work and *maybe* a haircut, then direct her to my facebook page for more info. Everyone is silent for what feels like 30 hours.

I vaguely consider the fact that maybe I'm a loser.

We return home at 10pm thinking we're pretty f-ing badass Midwestern chicks for braving the cold and wind. I receive two Starbucks logo mugs and some chocolate at the Secret Santa gift exchange. I am thrilled.

Then I watch Saturday Night Live rerun with Tim - we make it to the news update part with that hilarious Sarah Palin rap, then (yawn) sleepy time.

BEST THING: Little E saw me sitting on the couch waiting for Kay, and I actually had my hair curled and makeup on, which is sort of novel for weekends, and right in front of his buddies (who were holding toy guns and everything) he says..."Mom! You look beautiful!" Then he kisses me on the cheek.

Right. In front. Of his friends! One said, "Why did you go that?" Little E said, "Because she is. NOW DIE MAGGOT!" Then they were back to the gun thing again. I just sat there with little imaginary birds tweeting and circling my head.

Coolest kid ever.

(3) SUNDAY - wake up to Little E standing by my pillow in the dark and announcing he's going to throw up, i instantly wonder why they never go to their dad's side of the bed to say things like "hey I'm gonna heave," later we find out he was just hungry - not sure how he can confuse the two feelings, but hey it's been a while since I was six. We had three boys over - first, third and fifth grade - Abbey stayed in her room listening to music and posing in the mirror, or at least I think that's all she did because she was never doing anything else when I went in there.

Then I ran 3 miles on the treadmill and drank a big glass of Dr. Pepper afterward.

I took Ab to a waterpark birthday party in the afternoon - leaving the boys to their own devices, and Tim to the eventual Vikings loss after dinner. (He's still moody about it and I'm writing this at 10:30pm). I spend 2 hours at Barnes & Noble and it freaking rocked. Wanted to buy a lot of stuff, put it all back, skinny peppermint latte reward for the whole thing. Wonderous.

Then I came home and read a new book all night - Colton recommend it, and it is really good. "Inkspell" is the name. The writing is really good, and that means a lot coming from me because I'm a writing snob and was prepared to write the whole thing off as teen lit.

(Don't be distracted by my "really good" line as a real writing snob would probably say something more flowery but maybe that's what we WANT YOU TO THINK or maybe I'm just phoning it in and hey maybe it's both?)

Now I'm making cutout sugar cookies so the kids can decorate them tomorrow - because I was gonna do it when I was reading.

Good lord I'm boring. Wouldn't have it any other way! Hope everyone out there had a boring weekend, too.

UPDATE: Now Tim is upstairs eating the busted cookies and I can hear him chewing. It's cool. You have to put up with certain things when you're married and ... oh thank god he just took it into the other room.

I hate the sound of chewing.