Zombieland = Zinger Cornucopia

Witness:

Columbus: Hey, for f_ck's sake, enough already! We are being chased by ravenous freaks. Like we don't have enough problems. Oh, they stole my hummer. Oh, we have trust issues. Well get over it! We can't just f_cking drive down the road playing I Spy or some sh_t for two hours like four normal-ass Americans? F_ck me.

Tallahassee: Whoa.

Or:

Columbus: The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... were the fatties.

Read 'em all here.