(no, not you Smither.)

AHEM...

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Dear Tim,

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Cool - Eric, I'm your new pundit blog contributor...

(must watch to end of video to understand post title to its fullest, although it does apply out of context as well)

UH OH: Ever noticed how this blog is only about the election and my kids? And, occasionally, my cat and the lack of airport terminal crappers?

God you people must be bored senseless. If there are any of you still out there.

I know that believing in reproductive rights, gay rights, environmental rights and the fact that there are people in this country who need help via welfare doesn't make me "un-American."

I also know that anyone who disagrees with me isn't un-American either. (Isn't that the basic tenant of BEING an American? Um, being free to live your own point of view?)

But Sarah Palin seems to think differently. So I think this is funny:

UPDATE: Sarah is thinking we may have taken that "pro America" comment wrong, and totally understands how some of us might have felt anger at that, and her repeated insinuations that if we don't agree with her platform we're baby-killing, socialist terrorists. So just so you know, she didn't mean it that way.

YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED: It was jersey day at school - and we have a certain affiliation at our house. One of the four bedrooms is solely devoted to it.

MORE FOR YOUR MONEY: I was snarling at them to act like they could stand each other - as everyone was getting pinched or hair pulled.

WHEN THE NEIGHBOR KIDS CAME OVER: They pounced in all their work. Hence no money from mom. That's not bad, right? I gotta stand firm. In all honesty it was worse than when they'd started. They really should pay ME now.

TOTALLY UNRELATED: Got a new Blackberry today and it only took me 2 hours to sync everything.

YOU KNEW IT WAS COMING: Forgot another dentist appointment today. This time it was Colton's. I think they just sort of expect it from me now. Like if I actually showed up on time for an actual non-rescheduled appointment, hell would have frozen over. Don't blame them. I think the same thing myself.

Happy birthday, Tom!

GIVE HIM SOME SHIT ABOUT...: His swanky new cubicle wall.

ODDS ARE HE WILL...: Take this shot down and replace it with one of me picking my nose.

I'M POSTING THIS EARLY BECAUSE...: Got an 8am meeting. (Who schedules those things?)

HE'S HOLDING THE CUP BECAUSE...: At one time we thought the guy on it looked like Mpls Eric.

I need a new front deck to go with the new back deck I've been needing for a few years.

IMAGE 2: Our maple tree still looks beautiful, even as it stood guard over me drinking coffee and skipping church.

This just in from Bryan at work:

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DANGITDANGITDANGITDANGIT

Other updates:

(1) Still in Denver

(2) Still freaking over the hair (I think it got shorter over night)

(3) Still working on NOT being myself in interview situations (me and Sarah Palin could both use some polish)

(4) Maybe if I watch this over and over, without stopping, I'll drop the anxiety/blood pressure and put a few years back on the ol' life...

(5) Nope. Didn't work. I would have been screaming the f-bomb at those bubbles. Once a crass spaz, always a crass spaz.

There may be no hope.

Last week was Kansas City and tomorrow it's off to Denver.

I'm beginning to feel like a Real Creative Director. (Or at least earning my keep.)

The unfortunate thing about all this is that I went and got my hair chopped off today. Quite. Alot. Of. Hair.

This is causing some anxiety.

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So i have this cousin on the east coast who is quite possibly as funny and twisted and cool as me (I said "possibly" people).

Today she sent a link to the spidercamp Etsy shop.

Katie. LIKE.

I can't decide between Hangable Unhappy Little Crap Bunny (Golden Fleece):

Or Grim Sh*t Bunny (Hot Pink Fleece, currently on sale in the "UNPOPULAR" category)

I know this classifies me as a certified nut job ... but I had an eye twitch today and these things single-handedly pulled me through.

Thanks cuz! You rule.