Writers.

Block.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH.

(So much to do. So little progress. So so so so screwed.)

Abbey's first sleepover went down a few nights ago ... they staged a Zombie Vampire prom, complete with dance floor (leftover vinyl from our new bathroom floor), crowns, crepe paper, "blood" punch (red Juicy Juice in grandma's glass punch bowl), Taylor Swift (because of course zombie vampires dig her tunes) and chaperones (me and Tim).

They wore my dresses (from Mollie's 2nd wedding and Addy's a few years back) and used my makeup to get all undead/dead.

So what I'm wondering is, would this be normal for 9 year olds? Or should I be worried? Maybe it's cabin fever?

Full dance-floor shot here:

[More]

Tomorrow is 50s Day at the kids' elementary school.

(this is not the important part)

Kristie Lou, aka "THE Best Friend EVER" - is making Abbey, aka "The Luckiest Kid Ever" - a custom poodle skirt tonight.

(holy crap!!!!!!!)

There will be pink felt swingy-skirtiness.

There will be a pink poodle with gold leash.

There will be 24 tiers of black ruffly-poofiness.

There will be awesomeness.

There will be absolutely nothing for me to do, after I measure Abbey's waist.

And it must be finished before 7:30am tomorrow morning.

The best part is Kristie always wanted a poodle skirt as a little girl ... so this is less of a sweatshop thing for me, and more of a living-out-a-childhood-dream thing for her. (Or at least that's what she tells me.)

MORE FOR YOUR MONEY: When asked, "What would Katie do without you" she replied ... "I don't know. Buy something tacky at Party America?"

Um yes. Yes I would.

IMAGE: The materials...

BookBook case for my MacBook Pro!

wantwantwantwantwantwantwantwantwantwantwantwant

prettyprettyprettyprettyprettyprettyprettyprettyprettypretty

Oh you Vikings.

Concerning the nasty rumors that Starbucks now sells instant coffee:

Twin sister has twins tomorrow ... hooray!

Things she's complained about to me in the past week:

(1) Ankle size

(2) Reflux

(3) Inability to breathe

(4) Hospital paperwork

(5) Sheer terror/panic at prospect of newborn twins

Ab and I head down to Illinois to help out this Saturday, through next week.

IMAGE: Taken on 7/19 - she approved me blogging it. Holy CRAP, huh? Wow.

(The OB wants to do the C-section early, as he's afraid her old C-section scar may actually tear open. I'll go ahead and say that again ... SHE'S GETTING SO BIG HE'S AFRAID THE OLD SCAR WILL ACTUALLY TEAR OPEN.)

I remember when I was a teenager. I'm still working on the 30s ... although more on the back end these days.

But my 20s? GONE.

So much stuff - college and graduation and parties and bars and all kinds of pointless social stuff and 3 jobs and dating and marrying and kids and moving and moving again and job loss and job gain and job loss and job gain again oh and then more moving.

So I guess I'm wondering ... anybody else feel the same way? Because I honestly still feel like I'm in my 20s. But the mirror says different.

The older I get the more I realize (a) I'm stupid, (b) the things that seem important really aren't and the truly important things always get taken for granted, and (c) I really like vintage stuff that doesn't seem vintage somehow.

Here's some cool vintage stuff to look at, via colourlovers.com.

My cousin out in DC gets a high-profile gig at Microsoft ...

SOMEONE AT WORK SAID: "Is THAT your cousin? She's gorgeous."

I SAID: "Try not to act too f-ing surprised, whydoncha?"

(Har ... she is beautiful, huh? Love ya, Cuz!)

BURNING QUESTION: That isn't a Mac on her head, is it?

Not to be outdone ... her brother on the opposite end of the country (California) wrote an attention-grabbing story about a parrot saving a choking baby.

OVERWHELMING TAKEAWAY: I need to step my shit up. This sitting-on-my-ass thing isn't cutting it. Gotta make good. Now, where to start?

Okay I'll go back to Twitter.

Aw hell no:

Thanks to The WIngman for alerting us to this blight on humanity.

UPDATE: Via Anitta in North Carolina ... looks like this crap is spreading (literally)... Behold "Baconnaise." (shudder)